i dont even know how to be here
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
