I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
