This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
