Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
