I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
