SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
