it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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