True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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