sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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