Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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