He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
