Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
