I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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