My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
