My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize