i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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