i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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