I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
