I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize