so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
