i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
