Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
