This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize