youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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