Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
