He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize