Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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