i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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