Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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