Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
