i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got inside last night via doggy door
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
