I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
