u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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