I got chris browned last night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
