Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize