she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
