I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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