another moral hangover. fuck.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
