Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize