Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
