i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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