She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
