I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
