Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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