Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
