I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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