its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
