i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I cut my penus on the lid.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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