i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
