I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize