I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
