JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
