OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
