She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
