i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
