he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
