My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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