Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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