Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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