Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
