My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hippo gnu deer
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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