Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
