And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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