idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
