we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
