You just made me feel so damn special
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
