do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
