Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
