I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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