Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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