i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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