just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
