No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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