You did not just play the dead husband card again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
