If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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