it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
