Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
