it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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