Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
