Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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