apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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